What is mindfulness?
I’m often asked by clients and friends to define mindfulness. The technical definition is something like, “the process of becoming present to what’s happening without judgment”. By pausing to notice what’s happening - body sensations, breath, thoughts, feelings, what one sees, what one hears, etc. - one is able to rest in a peaceful state; it’s almost like watching a movie. Mindfulness can be applied to the actions of everyday life like doing the dishes, driving, playing with your kids, etc. It is the process of becoming more present to what is actually happening.
In San Francisco, mindfulness skills can be learned in a group setting at many local meditation centers and spiritual centers. For some people, utilizing these San Francisco-based resources is helpful, but others desire a more uniquely catered approach. Working with me, you can receive 1-1 mindfulness training in the context of psychotherapy.
How is mindfulness different than meditation?
Mindfulness entails being aware of what’s happening in the moment without judgment. It can be practiced anytime and anywhere. Mindfulness helps us focus our energy away from the future and past and into the present.
Meditation, on the other hand, typically involves a more formal practice. Some meditation entails sitting or walking while practicing mindfulness. Other forms of meditation include contemplations on specific subjects (i.e. death or loving-kindness) or a point of focus (i.e. a mantra). Mindfulness and meditation, while not the same, have a lot in common. Mindfulness and meditation often go hand in hand.
A Method to Practice Mindfulness:
There are many ways to practice mindfulness. But here are some basic step-by-step instructions that you can use to start:
Find an environment and body position where you can feel calm, relaxed, and undistracted. I’d advise either sitting, standing, lying down, or slowly walking.
Set a time limit. If you’re a beginner, consider 5-10 minutes.
Notice body sensations. You may want to start with the sensation of your feet on the ground. Gradually allow awareness to encompass your whole body.
Feel your breath. Allow breath to happen naturally and in a relaxed manner. Enjoy the simplicity of the in-breath and out-breath.
Notice when your mind has wandered. When you notice this, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
Be kind to yourself. You may notice judgments coming up. Inner voices may tell you “I’m not doing this right” or “This is hard”. Remember that these are just thoughts. Allow gentle awareness and self-appreciation to come to the forefront of your mind.
How Mindfulness Could Benefit You:
Research indicates that mindfulness can benefit people in the following ways:
- Stress reduction: Regular mindfulness can help decrease one’s overall level of stress and anxiety. You may find yourself feeling more relaxed and comfortable in your own body.
- Less Rumination: Studies indicate that people who practice regular mindfulness/meditation are less likely to experience ruminating thoughts.
- Focus: Regular mindfulness practice can improve one’s ability to focus in day to day life. It may become easier to keep one’s attention on a single thing and avoid getting caught up in distractions.
- Improvements in memory: One study found that regular mindfulness practice improves memory in general, and working memory in particular.
- Relationship satisfaction: Regular mindfulness practice can help one stay more present during relationship conflicts and/or arguments, which leads to greater relationship success and satisfaction.
- Less emotional reactivity: People who regularly practice mindfulness learn to stay calm in situations that would otherwise cause stress or an intense emotional reaction.
Mindfulness and New Age Spiritual Pursuits in San Francisco.
In San Francisco, mindfulness is of great interest to many people. San Francisco is filled with meditation and spiritual centers where mindfulness can be learned.
On a related note, many people in San Francisco pursue related activities like attending “transformational festivals” such as Burning Man, attending personal-growth workshops, sitting with shamans who lead psychedelic journeys, etc.; there’s a ton to explore in the pursuit of mindfulness, self-awareness, and personal growth.
What I offer is a unique 1-1 experience that combines mindfulness coaching with traditional psychotherapy. You’ll learn to become more mindfulness, while simultaneously working towards personal growth in a dynamic psychotherapeutic context.
My personal experiences with Mindfulness.
My introduction to mindfulness came many years ago when I was a high school student. I saw a culture of endless striving and materialism around me; people were constantly looking for the next best thing - getting into the best school, getting the best job, etc. I was looking for something different, and I ended up discovering Buddhist and Taoist philosophy, traditions that would greatly influence and inspire me towards mindfulness.
While in college I studied abroad in India, Nepal, and Tibet; I used this as an opportunity to deepen my understanding of Tibetan Buddhism and meditation. Mindfulness and meditation practice would then become a huge part of my life. Since then, I’ve studied and practiced with teachers of different meditation traditions including Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, and Advaita Vedanta (Non-Dual Tradition). Many times I’ve sat in silence on multi-day meditation retreats.
Through all of my experiences, I’ve learned how to be more present, relaxed, and in the flow of life. I certainly have my challenges, but I’m able to consistently come back to a mindful state. I’m now passionate about helping people in San Francisco learn mindfulness. My clients find great benefit from my mix of mindfulness coaching and traditional psychotherapy.
Types of psychotherapy that utilize mindfulness
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are all evidence-based styles of psychotherapy that incorporate mindfulness.
My personal style is quite eclectic, drawing from a wide range of psychotherapeutic traditions catered to the individual.
My approach working with clients on Mindfulness
People often ask me how mindfulness is specifically used in my work with clients in San Francisco. While it varies from person to person, sessions often start with a guided meditation. As we sit together, I’ll instruct you to take a comfortable seat on the couch - not too rigid so that you’re uncomfortable, but not so relaxed that you’re falling asleep. I’ll then lead you in a 5-10 minute practice of guided mindfulness. I’ll slowly encourage you to notice the weight of your feet on the ground, the sensations in your body, and your relaxed breath. I’ll guide you towards relaxed awareness of thoughts, feelings, and sensations. People find this initial guided meditation to help them feel more grounded and relaxed in the room; this is the foundation of the therapy we’ll do together.
From this initial place of relaxation and groundedness, clients then begin to see what’s coming up for them, and we start the therapeutic conversation. People speak with me about all sorts of present challenges, past traumas, and future desires. We’ll process these concerns in a variety of ways, but we’ll always come back to the foundation of mindfulness. When we have doubt about what is needed in the session, I’ll ask clients to tap into their own internal wisdom on what’s needed for the ongoing therapeutic process.
I typically meet with people for regular 50-minute weekly sessions. My clients are struggling with challenges ranging from anxiety, relationship problems, concern about life’s meaning, workplace challenges, and substance abuse. Therapy is an unfolding process, and it is difficult to predict exactly what will happen. I encourage anyone who is curious to schedule a complimentary 15-minute call with me. We can then have a conversation and see if this is something you’d like to give a try.
How Mindfulness is Specifically Helpful in the context of San Francisco/Bay Area Culture
San Francisco is a city of constant activity and technological innovation. So many people are constantly busy and overworked. Technology, particularly the tech on our phones, while providing numerous benefits to our quality of life, can cause endless distraction. App dating culture and social media creates a situation where others are constantly vying for our attention. Rent increases and rising prices create more and more pressure to increase earnings. People are constantly reporting to me that they feel anxious and ungrounded.
So as San Francisco gets busier and technology continues to envelop our lives, it can be quite helpful to practice mindfulness. The challenge is that there are copious things vying for our attention all of the time; in the midst of all this, we can start to feel like we’re losing control, and like we’re slaves to our technology, jobs, and endless responsibilities.
The practice of mindfulness gives one the opportunity to come back to restfulness, peace, and focus. It gives us the opportunity to drop doing for the moment and simply be. Most people in San Francisco aren’t trying to isolate themselves in a monastery and disengage from the world; most people are trying to have effective and engaged lives. Nonetheless, learning to take a pause and rest in a mindful state can help many people achieve the balance they desperately need.
Consider signing up for a 15-minute complimentary phone consultation. Together we can explore how mindfulness coaching and psychotherapy could help you.
Recommended Books On Mindfulness/MEDitation:
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn: https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787
The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh: https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Practice-Meditation/dp/0807012394
Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: Informal Talks on Zen Meditation and Practice by Sunryu Suzuki: https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Mind-Beginners-Informal-Meditation/dp/1590308492